Zsa Zsa The Tampa Bay Bucs Parrot Is Now My Mortal Enemy

I have enough disappointment in my life as it is. I own many mirrors, people point and laugh at me on the streets, I didn’t even win least athletic moment at the Barstool awards. I have plenty of ways to be disappointed on my own thank you very much. So when the NFL Draft promises me a talking parrot announcing the Buccaneers 4th round pick, I don’t think it’s too much to ask that a talking parrot actually announces the pick. Instead we’ve got Zsa Zsa out here squawking and squealing after this lady pirate professionally delivered the pick like he was anything more than a colorful prop.

Sure, he’s got some big time plumage on him but what does that do for me? Nothing, that’s what. Classic millennial macaw having someone else do all the work while still asking for all the credit. Be a man of your word one time for me, Zsa Zsa. Everyone knows it’s better to undersell and overdeliver. Every time someone makes a pick now Mike Mayock is cursing out this bird and his family, he’ll never get over this and neither will I. To call him the biggest draft bust since Ryan Leaf is an understatement to say the least.